engineer

engineer
1. (engineer) (1403↑, 259↓)
A [kick-ass] uber-genius with godly math and science abilities, the training for wich being at the expence of those abilities for spelling and talking to members of the opposite sex.

"You know that you're an engineer if you can prove it mathematically"

Author: Douglas Weltman http://engineer.urbanup.com/162288
2. (engineer) (1250↑, 192↓)
Suppose you meet a girl in a park. She's riding a bike. Taking off all her clothes she screams 'Take whatever you want' If you take the bike, you're an engineer.

Yea, the clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway

3. (engineer) (689↑, 69↓)
"To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1) things that need to be fixed, and (2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them. Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet." - Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle

The engineer was the cause of the system meltdown

4. (engineer) (433↑, 63↓)
Someone who relates to the universe in a mathematical but socially inept way.

Optimist: "The glass is half full." Pessimist: "The glass is half empty." Engineer: "The glass is twice the size it needs to be."

5. (Engineer) (455↑, 90↓)
A talented individual responsible for the design and creation of all man-made objects in the known universe, as opposed to a scientist who attempts to make new discoveries about the universe. Engineers do not do much in the way of manual labour; those tasks are allocated to skilled tradesmen. Engineers are involved in the design of everything from oil tankers to staple removers. For example, a scientist in a lab may discover a new metal with certain properties. An engineer would then take this material, incorporate it into a design, where a welder would then implement it into the machine/device. Society depends on engineers with their lives just as much as they depend on medical professionals. It is the responsibilty of an engineer to make sure a bridge will stay up, a car will drive straight, and that planes will remain airborne. Engineering is broken down into many streams. Mechanical engineers would be involved with things in motion, such as a car, or jackhammer. A civil engineer would design bridges and buildings, and other static structures. There are many more streams, which I will not list here. Often, people without any engineering credentials will append the word "engineer" to their job title. This is because there is a sense of importance attached to the word. Practising engineering without proper certification can get a person sued by a lot of people very quickly. Engineering is also a term used to describe an action that is similar in nature to engineering, albeit in a non-professional manner. An example of this would be a "social engineer," which is a person that would do something like use a friend's computer to [MSN] another friend, and start insulting themselves in order to see what that person will say about them.

I wonder which engineer developed the night vision for Paris Hilton's video. Aerospace engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets. Boy: The sanitary engineer came to my place early this week. Girl: Yah, those garbage truck drivers are so unpredictable\!

6. (engineer) (344↑, 73↓)
1) More useful to society than an insurance salesman. 2) More useful to the arms industry than a big bucket of grenades. 3) More likely to use statistics than 345% of the population. 4) Enjoys overcomplicating things.

The aerospace engineer is the guy in the plane who is whimpering quietly and looking worried.

7. (engineer) (436↑, 203↓)
A person who studies hard to be able to drink more than anyone else while in school, then makes more money than the same people in the workforce

man why does an engineer make so much money for learning to drink a case in a night

8. (engineer) (207↑, 30↓)
A person capable of making things work in unfathomable and near-magical ways. Generally possesses extreme levels of mechanical aptitude plus a formal education including large doses of applied math, physics and chemistry which he actually understands. Can perform calculations without using a calculator. Often builds his own mechanical devices from loose parts for self-amusement. A modern day witch. Often has difficulty relating to people because ideas on new and better ways of doing things are constantly flooding into his/her mind. In many cases just bringing an engineer into a room containing broken equipment causes the equipment to start working again.

One day an engineer found himself at the pearly gates. St. Peter looked him up in the book, and found that he was destined for the other place. The engineer protested that this must be a mistake, and that he had lived a righteous life, going to church every week, being faithful to his wife etc. to no avail. About 6 weeks later God reviews the lists and realizes that the engineer has been sent to the wrong place. So he rings up Lucifer and demands that the engineer be sent up. Lucifer says NO WAY. This guy was the best thing to ever happen here. He's got the AC working, we have running water and cable now too, and next week he thinks we will get internet access and an ice cream machine. God is pissed and yelling says "I'll sue". Lucifer says LOL where are you going to get a lawyer and hangs up.

9. (engineer) (199↑, 66↓)
Typically an individual: -with 180+ IQ -drinks a lot -low GPA Classical Engineering includes: -Electrical -Chemical -Mechanical -Civil Canadian engineers wear the iron ring on the pinky of their working hand.

My iron ring cost me $25+$57,000 of student debt.

10. (engineer) (141↑, 16↓)
One who lives by the motto "If it ain't broke, take it apart and find out why".

What's the difference between an engineer and a scientist? When engineers are wrong they get sued.

11. (engineer) (125↑, 63↓)
ERTFW.... There are three things thing this world that you need duct tape, WD-40 and Beer. Duct tape for things that move and aren't supposed to. WD-40 for things that don't move and are supposed to. And Beer for if it doesn't fit into the first two categories.

So your an engineer? Wanna fuck.

12. (engineer) (141↑, 83↓)
A superior person

"we are, we are, we are, we are, we are the engineers. We can, we can, we can, we can demolish forty beers. Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, now come along with us. For we don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn about us. Those money grubbing commie fucks are going straight to hell. And all those puny artsci' shits will work at Taco-Bell. So kiss my ass and fill my glass, it's only beer eleven. We live at Clark, we've made our mark, we're Sci'o'fucking seven\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!

13. (engineer) (152↑, 97↓)
Person with extreme mathematical, scientific and technological knowledge. Often beleive that they have "real" lives, which usually do not extend much further than endless plot dicussion with fellow engineers about movies such as "The Matrix" (C)... They usually tend to have extreme problems when attempting to communicate with the opposite sex.

Doctor: Your son has the knack ma'am Mother: The knack? Doctor: The knack, the supreme understanding of all things electrical and mechanical, along with other social ineptitude... Mother: Will he ever live a normal life? Doctor: No, he will be an Engineer Mother: //Breaks down crying

Author: pro-nun-see-A-shun http://engineer.urbanup.com/256074
14. (Engineer) (59↑, 6↓)
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

You: "Hey, wait here, I'mma go take a dump." Friend: "Alright." *5 minutes later* Friend: "Dude..I was playing guitar with your amp and I noticed a parasitic capacitance between the output and the input, causing parasitic oscillation. So I really quickly soldered them a little further from eachother, so it shouldn't have any feedback anymore." You: "Oh...uhhh... thanks?" Friend: "Hey, I'm an engineer. It's what I do."

15. (Engineer) (64↑, 13↓)
Someone who takes the view that if its broken it should be fixed, if its not broken it needs to be taken apart to find out why, theoretically to make future designs not be broken, really to break it so they can fix it. In general have advanced math and science skills, engineers solve practical problems and design things, not to be confused with scientists, who discover things, or workmen who make things. The scientist discovers a new material and its properties, the engineer uses this to design a new building, the workman makes the building. Often engineers have trouble socializing, this is because they speak and think in numbers, and have tendency to "mental multi-task" i.e. Halfway through a conversation they will devote half their brain to designing a better sort of person to talk to. Whatever it says, if it doesn't have a degree, its not an engineer, its something that wants to feel important.

My friend is an engineer where did he study [prestigious university]

16. (engineer) (55↑, 20↓)
One who often finds himself in the middle of the battlefield collecting metal and building machines (such as teleporters) to help ensure victory. Arch enemy of the spy. Common phrases include; "Teleporter goin up" "Sentry goin up" and "SPY SAPPIN MY SENTRY\!"

You: Hey engineer, keep checking your back. There's a spy around. Me: Thanks, HEY, SPY SAPPIN MY SENTERY\!

17. (engineer) (107↑, 80↓)
an individual with extreme mathematical mechanical electrical physiological and other type knowledge. usually has limited knowledge or interest in all things liberal arts. usually has loathing of scientists who never contribute anything to society. are personally responsible for critical features of the earth such as terran rotation, gravity, the speed of light, and heisenberg's uncertainty principle and can change any of these principles with the power of thought.

engineers mke the world work, and often they have very good rapport with members of the opposite sex as long as they are fellow engineers and not skank liberal arts wastes of life and tuition

18. (engineer) (25↑, 6↓)
someone who solves practical problems

If building [stuff] isn't solving [problems] then the engineer don't know what is.

19. (Engineer) (32↑, 16↓)
A professional with extensive mathematical and scientific skills. Engineering has many different types of careers: civil engineering, structural engineering, mechanical engineering, and so on and so forth. They are underpaid when compared to other fields such as medicine. That isn't to say that doctors don't deserve those massive paychecks. A medical mistake can kill one person, but an engineering mistake can kill hundreds and thousands of people. Engineers have heavy burdens to carry, and should be respected. Everything around you was designed by an engineer.

Engineers are individuals who solve the problems ordinary people can't.

Author: engineering major http://engineer.urbanup.com/5405942
20. (engineer) (87↑, 71↓)
An accredited psychopath. Psychopathic tendencies are not usely inherent, but emerge after the proto-engineer (see: [student]) has been run through courses like statics, thermodynamics, and circuits.

The difference between a psychopath and an engineer is that one has a degree.

Author: Jacob (aerospace engineering student) http://engineer.urbanup.com/649299
21. (engineer) (12↑, 2↓)
A person who applies an advanced understanding of science and mathematics in the engineering design process to solve the world's problems, often mistaken in today's world as tradespeople. A chemical decomposition of engineers would look like this: 50% scientist, 30% inventor, 20% mechanic/technician.

The moon landings are a grand achievement of aerospace engineering.

22. (engineer) (24↑, 17↓)
Engineers make things work, even if they don't know much about it.

Da Vinci was the first scientist to study materials. Think of all the grand engineering from before that time.

23. (engineer) (13↑, 8↓)
someone who's a pro at math and science, plays the guitar very well, and knows how to solve practical problems.

Hey, look buddy. I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems. Erecting a dispenser\!

Author: spahsappinmahsentry http://engineer.urbanup.com/5537458
24. (Engineer) (5↑, 4↓)
The perfect superhuman. Usually ripped on by others for using university for it's original intention, to study. When arts students come across an engineering student they will usually make a weak attempt at a joke, as they are intimidated by an engineers superior intelligence.

Arts student: Hey look its an engineering student... i uh.. i uh bet he doesnt do the sex\! Engineering student: Sorry, how much can you get paid from only having your arts undergrad?

25. (Engineer) (42↑, 41↓)
Someone who relates to the universe in a mathematical but socially inept way.

Someone who relates to the universe in a mathematical but socially inept way. Optimist: "The glass is half full." Pessimist: "The glass is half empty." Engineer: "The glass is twice the size it needs to be."

26. (Engineer) (3↑, 12↓)
A failed physics student.

Jimmy used to be a physics major but he found it too hard so he had to settle for engineering.

27. (engineer) (52↑, 72↓)
1. Usually a person that studies engineering and works in the field after graduating. 2. Can usually have a very strange, peculiar personality, usually because of pushy parents who stressed them to become engineers. 75% of the time, the parents aren't even engineers or smart, they just want their kids to do what they couldn't do. 3. Can be very intelligent, or in many cases, very arrogant people. Will not only claim to know everything about engineering, but also about the government, medicine, even professional sports. However, while you can't beat them at engineering knowledge, do stand up to them when they claim to know more about something you know a lot about. Sadly enough, many engineers have an ego.

1. John earned a Chemical Engineering degree and now works for Dupont making polymers. 2. Joe had a pushy mother that worked as a secretary. She made him finish every math workbook she could find until he could ace Calculus in the eighth grade. Joe now lacks appropriate interpersonal skills and cannot keep friends. 3. Mark knows everything about aerospace engineering and fixing my computer, but he thinks he knows everything about basketball, even though I played college ball. He thinks it's a game of numbers, when it's really about attitude, heart and practice, and whether or not the goddamn coach likes you\!

28. (Engineer) (61↑, 83↓)
An engineer is one who runs a train on a chick.

Last night, we all hit it one after another. We are engineers\!

29. (engineer) (37↑, 67↓)
1. A individual who accidentally wrote down "engineering" in his/her degree field when filling out college applications, just because said mom/dad/relatives/society pressured them with promises of jewels and riches upon graduation, only to find that they are masters and lords of the 8x5 ft. cubicle at said dead-end job. Often settles with a liberal arts/advertising partner to feel intellectually superior within his/her home. Has compulsive attitudes towards arranging kitchen utensils or other minor items within his/her household, and can become anal-retentive when gardening, mowing, or other yardwork activities. Frequently cried him/herself until class the next day, since sleep was and still is nonexistent.

John was a great engineer and could solve problems, but couldn't understand why his children became druggies and burnouts at age 16.

30. (engineer) (27↑, 92↓)
In [C&C], there the guys that sound like complete nerds and are used to repair buildings(not your buildings, public buildings, like the kind you stock with GI's or conscipts). They are most usefull when loaded into an IFV and stationed near your frontline.

Damn Engineer in an IFV ran over my lone conscript\!

31. (engineer) (19↑, 106↓)
Moody, God Complex, Think they are intelligent due to the vast experience in technology (3 to 5 years), over weight, some exotic ones have long hair and pony tails (only transexual men have pony tails), anti social, and on the rag 24/7. Usually Grumpy. Very upset about not being able to pick up the hot girl in college, and really pissed because they dont make much money and could have spent all that time drinking in college instead of programing with the Korean exchange student 'shwang balz'

one of my engineer introduces him self as a senior research scientist and has a vast history since the very beginning of network security... and he is 27.

32. (engineer) (25↑, 140↓)
the train driver, aka the person who starts the train out. NOTE: In Miami, there's only one Engineer, and that's the one who started All Purpoze.... don't fuck w/it

1) I am the engineer. 2) We ran a train on that ho, and I was the engineer

Author: ALLPurpozeBIoTCH http://engineer.urbanup.com/437312
33. (engineer) (16↑, 135↓)
A glorified custodian or handy-man. They have to be called an engineer, because it is more politically correct than being called a garbage man, janitor or plumber.

I'm sorry, but a waste management engineer is a garbage man. And a senior building engineer unclogs toilets and cleans the gum off of tables in the food court.

34. (Engineer) (6↑, 126↓)
1. The number crunching lapdog of an architect. 2. Failed architecture student. 3. calculator jockey

Tom failed out of architecture school, now he is only an engineer. His parents are very disappointed.

35. (engineer) (12↑, 154↓)
Sarcastically used to describe a stupid/dumb person.

when you witness someone commit an unexplainably stupid act, you say " what an engineer" or "you're an engineer". Depending on the stupidity of their acts, you can go from "industrial to civil to chemical engineer" or another form. \!\!\!

Related: engineering, nerd, geek, software, civil, scientist, engineers, computer, architect, awesome, electrical, science, mechanical, college, programmer, team fortress 2, tf2, design, genius, spy, stupid, university, work, fps, math, mechanical engineer, programming, tool, virgin, water, artist, biomedical engineer, doctor, dork, manager, mechanic, ninja, physics, sentry, sex
Last updated: 2012.02.29

Urban English dictionary. 2013.

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  • Engineer — En gi*neer , n. [OE. enginer: cf. OF. engignier, F. ing[ e]nieur. See {Engine}, n.] 1. A person skilled in the principles and practice of any branch of engineering; as, a civil engineer; an electronic engineer; a chemical engineer. See under… …   The Collaborative International Dictionary of English

  • Engineer — En gi*neer , v. t. [imp. & p. p. {Engineered}; p. pr. & vb. n. {Engineering}.] 1. To lay out or construct, as an engineer; to perform the work of an engineer on; as, to engineer a road. J. Hamilton. [1913 Webster] 2. To use contrivance and effort …   The Collaborative International Dictionary of English

  • engineer — [en΄jə nir′] n. [earlier enginer < ME enginour < OFr engigneur] 1. Now Rare a person who makes engines 2. a person skilled or occupied in some branch of engineering [a mechanical engineer] 3. a) a person who operates or supervises the… …   English World dictionary

  • engineer — [n] person who puts together things architect, builder, contriver, designer, deviser, director, inventor, manager, manipulator, originator, planner, schemer, sights*, surveyor, techie*, technie*; concept 348 engineer [v] devise; bring about angle …   New thesaurus

  • engineer — I noun architect, artificer, contractor, contriver, creator, framer, instigator, inventor, machinist, maker, manager, mechanic, originator, producer II verb arrange, assemble, brew, build, cause, collude, compose, conspire, construct, contrive,… …   Law dictionary

  • engineer — vb *guide, pilot, lead, steer Analogous words: manage, direct, *conduct, control …   New Dictionary of Synonyms

  • engineer — ► NOUN 1) a person qualified in engineering. 2) a person who maintains or controls an engine or machine. 3) a person who skilfully originates something. ► VERB 1) design and build. 2) contrive to bring about …   English terms dictionary

  • engineer — ▪ I. engineer en‧gi‧neer 1 [ˌendʒˈnɪə ǁ ˈnɪr] noun [countable] JOBS 1. someone who designs the way roads, bridges, machines, electrical equipment etc are built: • He is an engineer with an oil company. ˈproduct engiˌneer JOBS MANUFACTURING …   Financial and business terms

  • engineer — Synonyms and related words: Seabee, accomplish, achieve, act, aeronautical engineer, agent, agricultural engineer, ancestors, angle, apprentice, architect, arrange, artificer, artist, author, automotive engineer, be productive, be responsible for …   Moby Thesaurus

  • Engineer — For other uses, see Engineer (disambiguation). Engineer Conference of Engineers at the Menai Straits Preparatory to Floating one of the T …   Wikipedia

  • engineer — [[t]e̱nʤɪnɪ͟ə(r)[/t]] ♦♦♦ engineers, engineering, engineered 1) N COUNT An engineer is a person who uses scientific knowledge to design, construct, and maintain engines and machines or structures such as roads, railways, and bridges. → See also …   English dictionary

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